He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
