I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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