before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
