i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
