it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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