I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
