i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he fucked my hip out of place.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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