He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So much rum. So many feels.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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