Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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