i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
