super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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