A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
