I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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