Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
birth control should be required to get into college
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
