i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
