I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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