went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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