Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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