WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
