Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
