I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
