Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
