the condom got lost in my hair
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
