you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
