I'm drive I can fine osifer
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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