1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
