AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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