We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
