He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize