did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize