how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
