with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize