Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
