Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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