Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
