She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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