At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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