What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize