god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
