every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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