do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
