Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
