My cat gives me a boner
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
