What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
