i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize