love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This is the high leading the old right now
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
