How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
