The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
