do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
