I wish I only lived at night.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
