I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
