Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
