Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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