so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Dignity is for republicans.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Come share oat with me in your robe
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
