Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
