I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
