The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
