dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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