let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
