Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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